


End Of My Innocence

by rogue_copywriting_bot



Category: EXO (Band), SHINee, SuperM (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, EvilCorp, Fear, Heavy Angst, Humiliation, Hurt, M/M, Mentioned Do Kyungsoo | D.O, Torture, Violence, a major character is awful and I hate myself for writing him like this, canon-compliant or at least close to it, extremely dangerous and non-consensual bondage, implied imminent major character death, let's just go ahead and call it mindfucking, references to a very bad relationship, sleazy non-con under nasty circumstances
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:01:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27041659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rogue_copywriting_bot/pseuds/rogue_copywriting_bot
Summary: 날 달래곤 괴롭혀(You soothe me, just to torture me again.)-Trapped and facing a terrible fate, Jongin is determined to defy his own fear. Lurking in the darkness, though, is the one man who knows exactly how to take him apart.
Relationships: Kim Jongin | Kai/Lee Taemin
Comments: 18
Kudos: 19





	End Of My Innocence

**Author's Note:**

> This gets real bad real fast. Then it gets worse. If you're not down for Taemin being properly and genuinely evil, now's a great time to be somewhere that isn't here.
> 
> As it turns out, I am a fan of that shit, and sometimes an idea shows up that just won’t wash off. This one was a beauty. It’s nasty, it’s claustrophobic, and I was kind of curious to write something with basically no visuals in it, a bit of a novelty when it comes to K-pop fics. Taemin's voice in Criminal didn't help either. That's where I stole the title from.
> 
> Uh, yeah, sorry everyone.

* * *

He had been here forever, in the dark.

They had left him alone, blindfolded, bound so that his own body would torture him. 

They'd tied his wrists behind his back, then tethered them the ceiling, pulled upwards just enough to make his shoulders throb. They'd tied his ankles to some things somewhere far off to the sides of the room, his legs spread wide. If he gripped the cold cement with his bare feet, if he held himself against the stretch, he could keep himself from sliding down, keep the weight from his wrists, keep his shoulders from tearing apart. Every fibre of his body shook with fatigue, the pain incredible, but never quite enough for him to forget how much worse it would be if he gave in to exhaustion and let himself fall.

There was no light through his thick blindfold, no sound through the heavy concrete walls. There was no way to know that time was passing except the inexorable swelling of his agony.

When they came back, it would get worse. They’d told him that much before they’d left him here. They’d laughed.

He sucked his breath hard through his teeth as a muscle in his foot cramped, a startling jolt for such a small thing. He forced himself to exhale, to control it. Every trick he’d learned in training to work through when it hurt – breathe deep, breathe slow, find another sensation, another thought, anything else to focus on.

His hands were going numb.

When they came back, they were going to kill him. 

They’d said they’d make him beg for it. He wouldn’t give them that. He wouldn’t let some bunch of company goons break him, wouldn’t grovel to whichever piece of shit old chaebol bastard showed up to see it done. A write-off on the balance sheet, an investment gone bad. All those fuckers looked down on him, as they did on all the idols, another vacuous doll, another spoiled pretty brat. They didn’t see how strong he was, how disciplined. He’d hold on to that, at least. 

He was so tired.

Think of something, of anything. Think of his life. Visualise, focus, let light and joy wash away the pain. The flow of dancing, the euphoria of the arena, the laughter of his brothers – 

The company owned all that. The company owned him. Owned his face, his body, his voice, his life. Everything since he was a child, they’d bought it all, hope and work and passion and pride, all of it was theirs. He was theirs.

They were going to kill him.

Panic, rising up. A sharp surge of tension in his thighs, as his adrenaline spiked. He was going to cramp. He was going to fall. When they came for him, he would already be broken, beaten, begging.

Control. Calm. Breathe. Kim Jongin, get your fucking shit together. Stand up. Hold up your head. You are stronger than this, show them. _Show them._

What didn’t belong to them?  
What they’d forbidden.

His love, his heart, his soul, his secret. 

Glorious, luminous song, dazzling him, enchanting him, mesmerising, astonishing, perfect. Gentle touches, calming his fear, soothing his hurt. Wide dark eyes, beautiful beyond imagining, drawing him in, seeing him, knowing him. Strength embracing him, grounding him, protecting him, completing him. His love, fierce and brave and honest and kind. His love, who had opened his heart, who had finally pulled the darkness up out of his soul, held him as he’d sobbed out the awful secrets he’d kept hidden, of the first boy he’d fallen for, the boy who’d sucked him down into a black void of madness, the boy he’d fled, the boy who still haunted his dreams. 

The boy with the face of an angel and the hunger of a beast. 

The boy who’d nearly destroyed him.

Shit, not him, not now. Don’t think about him.

Think of Kyungsoo. His Kyungsoo, his love, his comfort, nestled against his body, whispering tiny gifts of praise and adoration, promises, vows, he was precious, he was safe, they’ be together forever -

There was someone in the room with him.

He hadn’t heard the door, hadn’t heard footsteps, but the air stirred with the presence of a creature of silent grace. 

Dread, trickling down his spine. Spikes of icy sensation pricking his skin. 

He held his breath.

There was someone in front of him. 

Warmth, growing closer, enveloping him.

A touch, gliding down the line of his jaw, as light as smoke.

_No_

Paralysis. Black sticky horror, drowning him. 

A sweet, silky murmur, soft as sin. 

“Hi, Nini.” 

His heart shattered, wrenching pain in the core of him, empty, hollow, wrong.  
Please, God, not him. Not here, not for this, please not him – 

Velvet lips, ghosting across his throat. A tongue, obscene against his skin. Words dripping like honey, like venom. 

“I missed you, my beauty.” 

The merest suggestion of a kiss, brushing over his lips, tore a whine from him before he could bite it back. 

“What’s wrong? Have you forgotten me?” 

Fingers feathering his hair, teasing, tightening, twisting his head forward with sudden viciousness. Blinded, disoriented, he gasped at the dizzying motion, even as the deeper nausea of terror flooded him, wave on wave. 

This can’t be real, it can’t, fuck, _fuck_

That voice, dropping, hardening, as the hand in his hair forced him down. 

_“Say my name.”_

Down, down, further, his muscles burning as he fought it, sinews tearing, bone grinding on bone. He screamed. 

“ _AAAH-_ Taemin, please!” 

Lightness. Relief. Defeat. Despair. 

Taemin’s arms around him, holding him, lifting him. Taemin’s body, hot against his, lean and lithe and impossibly powerful, thigh slipped between his, pressing upwards, taking away the strain and replacing it with something worse. He realised he was whimpering. 

Stop it, stop it, don’t give in to him, _stop it_

His muscles rebelled, heedless. He shivered. Tears welled, soaking the blindfold. 

Taemin’s fingers, tracing the contours of his cheekbones, feeling the dampness there, the radiant flush of shame. 

“Look at you. You’re so beautiful I can’t stand it.” 

_Fuck you don’t touch me_

Taemin, holding him, stroking him, kissing him, tasting him, melting him. 

“I’m so sorry, Jongin-ah" 

Trembling, uncontrollable, swept his body, jarring bursts of pain lighting his nerves. 

“I can’t save you.” 

He sank further into Taemin’s grasp.  
Stop it, stop it, you fucking worthless weakling, you coward, don’t let him, _stop it_

"You’ve been bad, Nini. You’re a liability.” Taunts fluttering in the darkness, circling him, stinging him. “They want you dead, Nini. They’ve wasted so much money, they want you to suffer, they said – my god, what they want - It’s such - ” 

Taemin’s voice, a filthy moan creeping in, a sound that had once set him on fire. 

“ - such a waste. “ 

Taemin, sliding closer, tighter. The hard line of his cock unmistakeable. 

_No no no no no please no_

Taemin, luxuriating in vulnerable arc of his throat, caressing him, inhaling him, consuming him, breath searing his bare skin. Taemin’s hips, rocking against him, flaunting his arousal. 

Memories, surging and roiling out from where he’d buried them, electric pleasure, overwhelming, maddening, flooding his mind.  
Then pain. Pain. Taemin snarling, nails tearing at his flesh. Teeth, sinking in, hard, deep. 

_“Tell me you want me to leave.”_

He wailed. 

“TAEMIN! Please don’t, please stop, please, please” oh god his stupid fucking mouth, he was sobbing, he couldn't “Just go, just go, just leave me, go” babbling, useless, pathetic, his voice broken, shit, shit, shit, shit “please, Taemin, please“ stop, stop. 

Taemin was laughing. 

“Poor pretty Nini, so coy now?” 

Lilting, flirtatious giggles, sparkling, playful. Coming in, closer, closer, deeper. 

“I’ll save that for tomorrow, when there’s an audience.” 

Wretched humiliation, choked back, burning down his chest. The taste of bile and rust, ears ringing, pulse surging, he couldn’t breathe, please let me die, please let me die, oh god please let me die 

That gorgeous, sumptuous voice, softer now, confiding, intimate. Brutal. 

“I’ll save that for tomorrow, when Kyungsoo is here to see.” 

Blackout, like any blackout, only making itself known to him as it receded, his mind flickering, grasping for reality, for control, too late, too late, he was already - desperate words pouring out of him, pleading, weeping, begging, weakness bleeding out of his fucking stupid mouth, betraying him, dooming him, dooming Kyungsoo, stop, _stop,_ don’t hurt him don’t touch him please don’t I’ll do anything, anything you want, don’t hurt him, don’t hurt him, don’t hurt him - 

Taemin, quiet, hands framing his face, holding him still until the swirling chaos faded, until he was silent. 

“Hurt him?“ Purring, predatory menace. “Why would I hurt Kyungsoo?” 

Tendrils of dread strangled him. He tried to swallow a moan, and failed. 

“Oh my poor sweet beauty, you have no idea do you?” Mockery glinted openly now, sharp and savage. 

“You have no idea what he’s done.” 

Taemin’s hands vanished, the warmth withdrawn, the presence supporting him slipping away, abandoning him again to the merciless drag of the earth, letting him sink into agony, crushed, helpless, howling. 

Destroyed. 

Taemin’s laughter, echoing, fading, every note of it tearing at his soul. 

Gone. 

He was alone in the dark. 

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah so you made it to the end of my first fic. Thanks ^_^
> 
> If it’s all too much, do what I do and take comfort in cliché. Maybe this is just a terrible nightmare for poor Jongin. He’ll wake up, all shaken and sweaty, to be cuddled back to reality by sweet Kyungsoo, who would never in a million years fail or betray him. Or maybe he’ll wake up to genuinely lovely and adoring Taemin, who has cared for him for so long and is the softest thing in the world, to whom he will never breath a word of this awful and confusing and shameful dream which obviously means nothing, because they love each other. It’s even possible he might wake up alone, shocked and a bit disturbed by the things running around in his head about his dear friends and colleagues. He’ll get over it. Stress does things to you, it’s rough. He could work through some issues after this. It could be good for him. He’ll be stronger for it.
> 
> Idk
> 
> That's lame though. Stay tuned for the prologue, where we find out how they wound up like this, and I fall tragically in love with this Taemin even though I know full well what's coming.
> 
> Help.
> 
> ps: Taemin honey I’m so sorry but you’d kill this role. I hate it but you would and we all know it.


End file.
